I truly enjoy writing. Since John’s death it has been a release for me. I guess it is the overflow of all the words that I once threw John’s direction when he came in from work. Poor man. That’s a lot of words. I’m trying to remember if I let him come in and get settled before casting off a daily allotment of language in his general direction; or if I just started in as he walked through the door. This memory is fuzzy, so, let’s assume the best.
I was driving home from work a few weeks back contemplating whether I should start a blog. I prayed these words (or some variation there of), “God I would love the opportunity to be able to encourage someone with my writing. But, please, God I only want to write if what I write will ultimately encourage and bring people to You.” In my defense, it was a heartfelt prayer and my hope was something useful to come from heartache. But have you ever prayed something or asked something and then had a realization of how completely ridiculous it sounds? It is not that the request is necessarily wrong. It is that it takes the position that I have something to offer God.
All of a sudden I was reminded of the story of Lazarus. Think back to the rich young ruler who was cast into Hell begging God to send Lazarus back to warn his brothers of the truth of Hell. Recall Christ’s words that if they did not believe when Moses and the Prophets told them, why would they believe even if Lazarus returned from the dead to tell them. (Luke 16:19-31)
Is it not a similar scenario? Has God not already provided, in the presence of the Bible, all of the written word needed to encourage and bring others to Himself?
It is a humbling position to realize that God does not need me to encourage others in Him. However, if I am His willing child, He might allow me the opportunity. So it is with a great sense of awareness that I put words on paper and that I tell my story. Awareness that as long as I seek God’s direction first and foremost, He might allow me the chance to spill out something encouraging even if just to one person.
He doesn’t need any of us, but it pleases Him because it brings him glory. I’m so proud of you sharing your stories. He isn’t through with you. You truly are a strong woman, even during this brittle and weak phase of your journey. Thank you!
Glad that you are doing this…thanks for letting us be a part of your journey! Love you lots!